Being a parent – with Birgitte Dosanjh

Birgitte Dosanjh is a physiotherapist and pilates teacher, and mother of two: Iona, 5 and Oskar, 2. Although it’s a slight departure for this podcast to speak to someone who doesn’t identify as a Buddhist or have a regular meditation practice, Birgitte has resonated a great deal with my book “Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People” and wanted to share some of her own amazing insights here around dealing with her children. (Full disclosure: Birgitte is one of my wife’s oldest friends).

In this interview, Birgitte describes the difficult backdrop into which her second child was born and how, as a result, she ended up with post-natal depression and having to seek professional help. She talks about how her journey through this has taught her many things about what it is to be a parent, including the importance of letting go, honesty and acceptance. As she says, she’s realised the truth of the phrase “smooth seas never make a good sailor,” and has come to value those rougher seas. She also talks about dealing with meltdowns and the value of understanding what happens when we “flip our lid” (referencing the analogy of what happens in the brain when we lose emotional regulation as described by Professor of Psychiatry Daniel Siegel and in my book). Of interest to many parents will be how she describes the importance she’s found in allowing her children to feel what they feel without dismissing or overreacting to those feelings.

Credit for phrase “magnetising to another’s emotional state” goes to “Why Mutual Face Watching Matters” by Keena Cummins.