How to avoid being emotionally highjacked - with Geshe Namdak

Born in Netherlands, Geshe Namdak completed his university studies in Hydrology and went on to work as an environmental researcher. He found Buddhism via a martial arts practice and a general leaning towards a spiritual perspective on life. On a work visit to Tibet, he encountered the Tibetan style of Buddhism and felt drawn in that direction. He decided to become a monk and commit to the 20-year programme of becoming a Geshe in the Nalanda tradition at the remote at Sera Jey monastery in India, and is now one of just a handful of Westerners to have completed the comprehensive Geshe curriculum. In 2019 he was asked to become the resident teacher at Jamyang Buddhist Centre in London, UK.

In this interview Geshe-la (as he is known) brings his deep wisdom and experience to the discussion of how to deal with difficult people and situations. He describes 4 steps that are critical if we’re to transform our impulsive actions into constructive ones: awareness, gaining distance, acceptance, and reflection. In order that we bring these steps to bear in real-life situations, he emphasises the need for cultivating a calm mind. The challenge, of course, is maintaining that clarity when our afflictions (anger, hate, etc) are triggered. The danger is that if we don’t, we may become “emotionally hijacked” - as he puts it - and lose control of our actions leading to potentially dire consequences. But, he repeatedly emphasised, having a clear, accepting mind is not about rolling over and being a doormat. We can still be very direct and assertive even when we’re coming from a place of awareness, calmness and reason.

He described a lovely analogy from his time in India: He observed that when a new dog came towards the pack of stray dogs that lived near his monastery, most often the dogs became fearful and started to bark and growl. On one occasion, a new dog approached but, instead of barking, remained calm and started playing. Initially the pack didn’t know what to do, but within a few minutes they were all playing together. The lesson is that if we can alter our attitude and approach to a difficult situation, the outcome can totally change.